God heals relationships
BEFORE October 2008
UP until three months ago, I was still suffering emotionally and was in a state of depression, feeling unhappy most of the time, carrying a heavy heart filled with anxiety. I was going about my daily activities with the feeling of emptiness within me and of being unloved. I do have many friends, some very, very close friends who gave very good advices, my family & siblings (local & overseas) who gave me so much support and yet I was unhappy with everything in my life! It was so unbearable that I had to resort to fortune tellers and to feng shui masters, numerologists, astrologists to speak comfort into my life.
I thought they could tell me what to do that could change my life and make me happy. There was even one fortune teller who predicted correctly (seeing that look that hung on my face); that I suffered from ‘mental torture’ and the solution was to write into a daily diary. I followed her advice but the more I wrote; the more I cried and wallowed in self-pity that life has dealt me such a bad hand!
My relationship with my husband was at its worst; we hardly spoke to each other whilst walking in and out of the same bedroom and the same house. Words exchanged between us were never longer than 3 sentences; the criticisms he directed to me or the ‘verbal missiles’ (harsh words) I launched at him would drive the ‘rift’ between us wider and deeper. These were the daily highlights of our household. He found solace in “drinking sessions” at places where pretty young girls are aplenty; they would do anything for a free drink, dinner and RM100 ringgit tip? And of course, my revenge and my escapade was to find love and simulate that love elsewhere.
At home, I was always very ‘irritable’ and jumped at the way my husband and children spoke to/with me .I recall that everyday I wanted to die so as to end all the emotional pain I was experiencing. I was on the verge of divorcing my husband to end the emptiness and unhappiness I lugged within me everyday. I even thought to myself, that if I can’t make him happy I might as well release him to some other women who can make him happy, and vice versa.
So what happened that transformed me into what / who I am today? I now have so much joy & peace in me that amaze me beyond words. I am confident that my hubby loves me and I love him (like when we first met) and we have so much more patience with each other. Come to think of it, we’ve not had any disagreement(s) since November 2008! This is record-breaking!
AFTER November 2008
IT’S GOD’S HEALING of RELATIONSHIP which I am experiencing AND GOD SHOWED ME THE WAY! IT’S A MIRACLE…PRAISE GOD! IT HAS TO BE! In the past, I did things my way. And everyday I carried emotional pain, bitterness, unhappiness. But WHEN I LEARNED TO DO IT God’s way, I noticed that things just changed for the better.
In the month of October 2008, after being invited by a close friend to Amazing Grace Christian Fellowship Church and after 3 sessions of reading God’s word and praying to God (with/by Pastor James Doss) I made a commitment and surrendered my business, my relationships, my family, my life back to GOD! (I had accepted CHRIST & was baptized in water & by the Holy Spirit when I was 17 years old, but back-slided and the ‘worldly’ temptations took me away from GOD).
I prayed to God to heal my ‘intimate’ relationship with my husband because I have tried on my own efforts BUT could not do it; not only did GOD heal my relationship with my hubby, in November 2008, God even wiped away my memory and the bitterness I had buried in my heart – memories of my husband being with other women, when he abandoned me.
Only GOD knew ‘what’ to fix in the both of us. Previously, I would not allow my husband to touch me, because I would feel so disgusted. But now God has blessed both of us!
Earlier, I could not understand this ‘miracle” GOD had done between my husband and me. How a ‘broken’ relationship can turnaround 360 degrees over night. Was it because I prayed to GOD and asked Him to help me in my most desolate moment? If that were so, I have prayed so many times before, that same prayer to ask GOD to help me, over the last 15 years but nothing happened. So why did it happen now? What was different?
Then GOD explained it to me:-
- At Pastor James’ Sunday morning service.
- Joseph named his firstborn Manasseh and said “It is because GOD has made me forget all my trouble and all my father’s household”.
- The second son he named Ephraim and said, “It is because GOD has made me fruitful in the land of my suffering.”
What GOD did to Joseph (thousands of years ago) GOD did for me! GOD made me forget all my toil and all my bitterness; and is blessing me in my own ‘house of my affliction’. Only God could have wiped out those hurting memories which I, with my human mind tried to erase BUT failed. PRAISE GOD FOR HIS FAITHFULNESS!!
- God pointed to me in His words (the bible):-
- For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.
- But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Now I can make the connection, I recalled, when Pastor James prayed with me (3 months ago), pastor reminded me to get right with GOD and I did just that immediately, that same night when I told God I want to live my life His way (not my way) from that day forward! And what’s more wonderful is that GOD (through His prophecies spoken to me at Amazing Grace Church on 31 Dec 2008) told me that he has not finished with His blessings upon me, there are more to come and whatever I ask of Him, which is according to His will in heaven, He will give it to me! I praise GOD for His LOVE for me!!
I’m not hurting anymore, I wake every morning thanking GOD and I go to bed every night thanking GOD that he’s giving me so much peace, joy, happiness and love in my heart.
YOU CAN HAVE THAT TOO; if you are currently in depression/feeling suicidal and hurting from relationships!! Allow God to touch your life and work that miracle for you too!
I have submitted my husband to God in prayer and I’ve asked God to deal with him, as he’s answerable to God (not to me). Now when I look at my husband and children, I praise GOD because I was that close to loosing my beloved family. GOD stopped me from taking that route of ‘divorce’ and healed my relationship with my husband.
God taught me that all I had to do was so simple – JUST walk ‘RIGHT’ before Him and to TRUST Him to do the rest in HIS WAY and in His timing! Now that I have tasted that, I assure you, THAT IS THE ONLY WAY!
“If you abide in Me (Jesus) and My words abide in you, you will ask what you desire and it shall be done for you”.
by Sister Suzana
8th January 2009