This is my story…
I was a rather optimistic young man. Fresh out of university, I had big dreams and big goals. Like most people, I was frantically chasing after material wealth and a comfortable life. Although all my plans did not work out too well, I remain hopeful and confident of my future.
In 2006, at the age of 28, I got married to my lovely university sweetheart and we had a beautiful wedding. Life did not change much after the marriage; we live through life as usual. Little did I know the devil is at the door, waiting to steal, kill and destroy. In early 2009, less than 3 years into the marriage, it broke down. My wife wanted to leave me to carry on a life without me.
It was a rude shock to me; I was heartbroken, shaken and confused. My whole life fell apart. I loved my wife dearly. Having built my life around her in the past 8 years, she meant everything to me. It was truly the deepest darkest hour of my life. The pain was overwhelming. The hurt was deep as I go through memories of all the good times that we had, and thoughts of not able to wake up beside her ever again. I’ve never felt so helpless, and never cried so much in my adult life.
A good friend who knew about my situation brought me to church. I knew I needed help as I couldn’t face my challenges alone. I went through a few counseling session with the church pastor, and prayed to God fervently for a miracle in my marriage. At the church I learnt about unselfish love, and I tried everything I can to reconcile and salvage my marriage, but it was unsuccessful. My wife was adamant, and God showed me subtly that the relationship was not possible to carry on. As I loved my wife so much, not willing to bind her against her will, I agreed to a divorce.
After that decision, I actually wanted to give up on God and return to the sinful world. However, God has set already His eyes upon me. At the church I read about Jeremiah 29:11 which say, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”. I was convicted and eager for God’s plans in my life, therefore I took a leap of faith, and in May 2009 I accepted Jesus Christ and was born again.
With God’s saving grace, I was able to let go and surrender my life to Him. I had an amicable divorce, and despite the things that have happened there was no bitterness, anger, or blame. I still remain friends with my ex-wife. Since then, I was given tremendous opportunities to learn about Jesus. Knowing the truth really does sets you free, and God is changing my life day-by-day, transforming my character as I serve Him. As Rick Warren mentioned in his book, “What happens outwardly in your life is not as important as what happens inside you. Your circumstances are temporary, but your character will last forever.”
Looking back, I realized what happened to my has lead me to my salvation. For without pain, how would one know God is a healer? Without sadness, how would one know God is a comforter? If life is perfect, would one still know God? You will never get to live as you plan all your life. It has now been a year since my problem began. I could not have faced the crisis on my own strength, and I’m glad God was with me every step of the way. The year 2009 has really been a transformational year in my life. I’ve been humbled, having lost my dreams and what I cherished most in life, yet I’ve found greater peace and joy, knowing that my life is now secured in Christ. I thank God for His love and His faithfulness.
In closing, I’d like to share this beautiful poem by Annie Flint Johnson:
God has not promised
skies always blue,
flower-strewn pathways
all our lives through;
God has not promised
sun without rain,
joy without sorrow,
peace without pain.
But God has promised
strength for the day,
rest for the labour,
light for the way.
Grace for the trails,
help from above,
unfailing kindness
and undying love.
Jesus is the answer. GLORY TO HIS SOVEREIGN NAME!
By Bryan Zeng
14 Feb 2010
